12 Mar From Impossible to POSSIBLE
My parents, and family meant well, but when I was growing up, I heard more about what I couldn’t do, couldn’t be, and would never achieve. It wasn’t about “all I could be,” to borrow from a popular ad series from the 80’s, it was pretty much determined, what I could and would never be. These limiting beliefs were created without any input from me. I was an unsuspecting child, having my thoughts formed and molded. The decision was unconsciously made and I lived with the consequences and results.
We are enveloped by what others are applying as their belief systems upon us. We are not conscious of the process; we don’t even know it’s happening. We grow up, thinking our thoughts are actually “us,” our being. We repeat these limiting beliefs constantly and unconsciously. “I can’t start my own business, I don’t know enough,” or “if I can’t be successful, why try?”
It took a lot of self-reflection and the aid of a coach to help me in confronting my limiting beliefs. The realization of how ingrained my beliefs were, I was unable to visualize what it would be like to no longer have them around. Once I acknowledged which ones were really holding me back, they got heavy and burdensome to carry around. I finally made a decision that I no longer wanted to carry my limiting beliefs around with me like luggage full of unwanted clothes. I dropped them and decided to change my life’s trajectory.
Now making the decision to change my belief system is easier to write about then it is to lose. My brain created some deep, deep grooves having practiced these beliefs since I was a kid which makes it difficult to change. However, change is possible, and our brains are very open to learning new ways of thinking and believing.
Changing the way I think, the way I speak about myself, and choosing carefully the thoughts I would allow to wander around my head has become a daily practice. This is one practice you can’t skip because you don’t feel like doing it.
What limiting beliefs are you carrying around? Do they sound like any of these?
- I don’t have will power.
- I can’t get that done, something else came up.
- I don’t have time.
- I don’t have any money.
- It’s too late to start, why bother.
- I have too many responsibilities.
In order to move from the impossible to the possible, be aware of the thoughts and words you are using. Become consciously aware, and begin to replace the negative vocabulary. I started with the way I spoke to myself. I became conscious of the fact that I was constantly insulting myself, my abilities and my intelligence. From awareness to change took more than a year. My thoughts are kinder and my attitude has changed as well, but every once in a while, an old limiting belief will pop up and take me by surprise. But I take a step back and remember that I lived with that belief system for over forty years, it will take some time to reverse it. I then create a new thought to replace it, and begin practicing all over again.
In my business consulting and coaching I find my clients are also carrying around limiting beliefs that stop them from taking action and moving forward. When I reveal to them that it is only a belief that they can’t succeed and that all of it is possible, we can then address the limitation head on. One of the assignments is for them to become conscious of the language they are using in their demeaning thoughts and to begin to change their approach to the issue or problem they are facing. Moving from “I won’t succeed,” and “I am not smart enough to make it work” to “I can make it work and I am smart enough to figure it out …” is a process and a practice. It will take time to change the impossible language to that of possibility.
Begin today by listing the challenges that you are having trouble resolving. Write down the issue in as much detail as possible. Now, look at the language you use to describe the situation. Highlight or circle all the negative words and sentences. What may be blocking you from making a change or finding a solution is most likely your language, approach and attitude.
It is all possible, there is more than enough room, success and money for you. You need to decide what it is you want and how bad do you want it. What change can you make right now to allow you to move from the impossible to the possible?
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Judy Santos is the Founder & Creator of The Business Builder program which helps business owners, and entrepreneurs start, grow and scale their businesses. It’s mission is to assist men and women to holistically create a business and life that is full and rewarding that reflects their values and purpose.